Woof Woof!

I would love to really want a dog.... a small lazy one that doesn't like going for walks.
Sometimes it seems like a good idea and then I see my friend's dog lick his bottom when he's had a poo and I think hmmm, am I really a dog person?  I've had boyfriends, they didn't lick their bottoms when they'd had a poo but they weren't half a lot of work. They needed far too much feeding, exercising and amusing.

They say that dogs are man's best friend, but I wouldn't let my best friend chew my slippers or pee in my garden...well not unless she was absolutely desparate.  So are there any small lazy dogs out there?

I believe I have found the perfect one for me (If I ever decide to get one).  The Bolognese isn't so much a lazy dog, more a dog for a lazy or physically unfit person.

This breed is thought to have descended from breeds like the Bichon Frise in Southern Italy.  It first became popular in the late 1700's - early 1800's as a companion dog among the royal courts and nobility in Spain and other parts of Europe. The Bolognese is quite a sturdy toy dog (although I would try very hard not to accidentally sit on it) and doesn't need a great deal of space. It tends to weigh between 8 - 14 pounds  and is a playful but not overly active dog with occasional rather than every day walks being good. It likes children, doesn't shed much and is totally cute as a button.  What's not to like?  I wonder, is it better to have a boy or a girl dog and what would I call it? Let's see.... how about Agnolotti for a girl and Campanelle for a boy? (types of pasta if you're wondering)

Finally, here are some amusing definitions from a doggy's point of view.

LEASH: A strap that attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go.

DOG BED: Any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.

DROOL: A liquid that, when combined with sad eyes, forces humans to give you their food. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and get drool on the human.

SNIFF: A social custom used to greet other dogs, similar to the human exchange of business cards.

DUSTBIN: A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread.

BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards. The person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.

DEAFNESS: This is a malady which affects dogs when their person wants them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction or lying down.

THUNDER: This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly and following at their heels.

WASTEBASKET: This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes and old sweet wrappers. It is important to evenly distribute its contents throughout the house before your person comes home.

BATH: If you find something especially good to roll in, humans get jealous and they use this degrading form of torture to get even. Be sure to shake only when next to a person or a piece of furniture.

LEAN: Every good dog's response to the command "Sit!" especially if your person is dressed for an evening out. Incredibly effective before black-tie events.

BUMP: The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea.

CHILDREN: Short humans of optimal petting height. Standing close to one assures some good petting. When running, they are good to chase. If they fall down, they are comfortable to sit on.

LOVE: A feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. If you're lucky, a human will love you in return.