Dance With Me! (If Your Name Is Pasha Kovalev)

So...now we come to Week One, Part Two and the second 'Tess Dress' of the series. This one was a sort of lavender colour (if my telly is to be believed....it isn't always reliable, there are a lot of men with green sideburns knocking about!) and being long and voluminous presented its own problems when Bruce tried to catch her leg and it got lost in the folds! (Whoops! That made it sound like she unscrewed it and threw it at him).

I thought the first pro-dance of the season was a little odd with a mish mash of styles and music. It included drums, feathers, sparkles, Bruno dancing on the desk and Darcey being hoisted aloft on a cloud of white feathers.

Let's get down to business....couple number one was Ben Cohen (Rugby player extraordinare -apparently) and the lovely Kristina who is like the cat that got the cream with the much muscled Ben. They danced the Cha Cha Cha and to me Ben seemed a bit awkward and unsure of himself but this was probably first night nerves. Len said his footwork was terrific but he sped up through nerves which made him lose his timing a bit. Bruno said that Ben was a beefy beast, full of promise but Craig opined that he had seen breeze blocks with more movement.

Ben & Kristina's scores
Craig 3, Darcey 5, Len 6, Bruno 5 = 19

Next we had Fiona Fullerton (Bond Girl) and Anton Du Beke. Every time Fiona's name is mentioned it is followed by the sobriquet 'Bond Girl' and although she gave up her acting career seventeen years ago I'm sure she played other roles. In true Strictly affectionate style the Bond theme was pushed to the limit with music from 'A View to a Kill' and Anton playing Bond.  Darcey praised the amount of content for a first dance (Tango) and said that Fiona composed herself well despite the mistakes. Len said she was sharp as a lemon tart early on but then lost it a bit and Craig said it was lovely to see Anton actually dancing this series!

Fiona & Anton's scores
Craig 5, Darcey 6, Len 7, Bruno 6 = 24

Oh dear! Hairy Biker Dave Myers next, dancing with the lovely Karen Hauer. Their Cha Cha Cha was obviously choreographed intentionally for full comedic effect, including a John Sergeant drag and skipping and he didn't disappoint in that respect. Click the link for a good laugh - Dave & Karen's Cha Cha - He counted out loud throughout and although it was so bad it was good, I think he can do better. Darcey couldn't stop laughing and had to take her head out of her hands to comment saying that she wanted to cry with happiness (!) and she was strangely in love (!). Craig (trying very hard to keep a straight face) said it was terrifying and that he recoiled in horror with an overwhelming feeling of revulsion. Hmmm...so you liked it then Craig! Len said that Dave danced like he himself cooked.... chuck it all in and hope for the best.

Dave & Karen's scores
Craig 2, Darcey 5, Len 5, Bruno 4 = 16

Next, in sharp contrast, we had Countdown's Rachel Riley and Pasha (Drool!) Kovalev with a romantic waltz to 'When I need You'.  Darcey thought it was very beautiful and Len said the dance was very pretty but a tad on the careful side. Craig said she had spatulistic hands  but a beautiful flow and was full of elegance. Pasha (Drool!) was as ever gorgeous to watch and poor Rachel was full of nerves but I enjoyed it very much.

Rachel & Pasha's (Drool!) scores
Craig 6, Darcey 7, Len 7, Bruno 7 = 27

Fashion Designer Julien Macdonald was next with new girl Janette Manrara. They did a Cha Cha Cha to 'Vogue' which Len said was more like Woman's Weekly than Vogue and Bruno dug himself a big gay hole by saying that Julien can't be bent all the time (meaning his legs of course). Julien was typically over enthusiastic in his post dance reactions, it probably took him all night to calm down.

Julien & Janette's scores
Craig 3, Darcey 5, Len 6, Bruno 6 = 20

Next we have professional dancer Robin Windsor with his very own dragon.... Deborah Meaden. They performed a Tango to 'Money, money, money' and were certainly slightly better than I expected. Brucey managed to get a relevant joke in when they had finished by saying it was the first time he'd seen a dragon out of puff, (Groan!). Len liked Deborah's attitude and said she had plenty of snap crackle and pop. Craig and Bruno pointed out that she messed up a bit but they still seemed quite pleased.

Deborah & Robin's scores
Craig 6, Darcey, Len 6, Bruno 6 = 24

In my opinion the Jive should not be a first week dance as it is one of the hardest to master but actually in this series both of the couples who drew the short straw (Susanna & Kevin) and Patrick and Anya have done quite well. Craig said that Patrick's rhythm and energy were absolutely fantastic but he needs to sort out his flat feet. Darcey thought his energy levels were brilliant and although he had flappy feet she liked it.

Patrick & Anya's scores
Craig 7, Darcey 7, Len 7, Bruno 7 = 28

Vanessa Feltz and James Jordan were up next with a cheeky Cha Cha to 'That Don't Impress Me Much' and sadly the judges were not much impressed! Darcey said this dance didn't suit Vanessa and she would no doubt be better at the the ballroom dances. Bruno thought she was trying too hard and lost some of her Va-Va-nessa and Craig said there was too much acting and not enough dancing. Vanessa countered that she was contending with a very tight girdle, a very hot flush and trying not to be impressed when James got his chest out! 

James & Vanessa's scores
Craig 3, Darcey 5, Len 6, Bruno 5 = 19

And finally Dahlings we have Abbey and Aljaz (pronounced Ali-ash) with a steaming hot Waltz in which they seemed to have no trouble whatsoever getting up close and personal. I wonder what Mr. Abbey (footballer Peter Crouch) thought! Len pronounced this to be the dance of the night, Craig said he had a hunch about this couple and he thought the dance was gorgeous and Darcey was impressed with Abbey's great posture and beautiful lines. They were rewarded with the highest score of the weekend.

Abbey &Aljaz's scores
Craig 8, Darcey 8, Len 8, Bruno 8 = 32

So, there we have it, week one done and dusted. Top of the pile so far are Abbey & Aljaz with a score of 32 followed by Natalie & Artem (Phwoar!) on 31, then Susanna & Kevin, Sophie & Brendan and Patrick & Anya all on 28. Then we have Rachel & Pasha (Drool!) on 27 marks, Ashley & Ola on 25, Mark & Iveta, Fiona & Anton and Deborah & Robin all on 24. Julien & Janette came away with 20, Ben & Kristina and Vanessa & James with 19 and finally bring up the rear are Tony & Aliona and Dave & Karen both with 16 marks. Nobody leaves this week but the voting lines will be open on next weeks show.

                                                                                                                 Tracey